Bonnie Raitt had it right. Let's GIVE them something to talk about.
Welcome to our first post! This journey has been a long time coming from both of us. We've talked and mulled and stewed and pondered and prayed. And we've finally decided that now is the time.
Love is the Sweetest Thing
“Love does exactly what it wants to do. Love, it's the way we feel for you. We're family all of us, and you!”
Love is really where this whole things begins. A happy hour date just a few days after connecting on Match.com, a walk around the entirety of the newly-renamed Bde Maka Ska, talking about anything and everything. Love really does do exactly what it wants to do. And what it wanted to do was surprise both of us with a perfect companion.
Neither of us truly expected this relationship to become a lifelong commitment (one of us was miles of out of the other's league) but after a few short months we both knew this love ran deep. Within the first month we had each expressed our desire to have kids; coming up with baby names on road trips while jamming out to Disney songs became one of our favorite pastimes. We landed on several in the first few months of being together! We definitely had baby fever. Fast forward nearly four years and we are actually moving cogs!
Step 1: Prepare
Regardless of which path we chose, there were a few steps we knew we had to take before pursuing our family plans. 2020 was a big year in a lot of ways. Sean took steps to change jobs and landed an incredible opportunity with a new company, Starkey Hearing Technologies, beginning in the midst of a pandemic. We bought our first home together in June with plenty of opportunity to make the home our own, designing any updates specifically with our future family plans in mind. And Benjamin took a new role in 2019 to reduce his stress and find a better cultural fit for his teaching styles.
All the pieces really came together.
Step 2: Prepare Some More
With a few things checked off our list, we began weighing options.
We have searched and searched and searched some more for the right way for us to grow our family. We discussed just about every option: infant adoption, foster-to-adopt, international adoption, surrogacy, abduction from a park. There are so many factors when making this decision. Given we have both crested 30 years of age, we knew we didn't want to waste any more time and so we are just jumping right in.
We've narrowed options, but are keeping those decisions close to our chest for now.
Step 3: Think and Dream
“A little mystery to figure out”
When we began planning for this blog, we stuck with the Sutton to Talk About idea from our wedding because who doesn't love a clever pun! We went to the lyrics of the classic Bonnie Raitt bop it's based on and found several beautiful little nuggets we hadn't previously considered in this new family dynamic.
"Thinkin' 'bout you every day, dreamin' 'bout you every night,"
"A little mystery to figure out."
So much of these lyrics spoke strongly to our lives in a whole new way. Our eyes were opened so wide by these words of hope and joy. That's what this process really has been. Thinkin. Dreamin. A little mystery.
We have done so much research that it starts to blur and discourage. We connected with friends who adopted. After 2 years and $20,000 they still hadn't gotten a placement. Another couple we watched make announcements several times about bringing home kid(s), just to see them post the most heartbreaking posts only days later about things not working out. These stories really bring a lot of emotions, and we hope this can be a place we connect to share and grieve and process and feel the love and encouragement to push through the hardest times and to come out the other side with warmth and strength and our own bundle of joy.
To our future Baby Sutton
As those lyrics said, we've been thinking and dreaming of that little one for years - and will for years to come. And as we hoped and dreamed, we wanted to share some words directly with that little bundle, whatever form it may end up coming in.
We can't tell you how much we already love you. You may not even be growing yet, and we can already feel your fingers grasp our fingers. We can already hear your soft coo, and your loud cry, and your two-year-old tantrum - and can't wait. We can't wait to get to know you, to watch your personality blossom, to watch you learn and grow. You will be surrounded by love and passion and respect and trust.
Our family won't be blood, but in our community you get to choose your family and that couldn't be more important to us. You will know that from the start. You'll be enveloped by "aunts" and "uncles" and more grandparents than you can count. There will be a village of people ready for you to join our family, to raise you up and strengthen you and empower you to accomplish your dreams.
We know it's going to be a challenge for us all. You're going to grow up with two dads and kids aren't going to get it. But we are always going to be by your side. We already love you so much and we can't wait to meet you.