Nothing happens in a flash. Especially writing these blog posts!
How often do you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that's a weird combination of excitement, fear, nervousness, joy, and eagerness? No, it's not indigestion from those questionable leftovers someone should have thrown out a week ago. How old is that ham? It's how we've come to describe anticipation in our lives.
We have a sneaking suspicion that this feeling of anticipation is going to be common for us throughout this journey. Anticipation of doctor appointments. Anticipation of test results. Anticipation of tough conversations between ourselves and others. Anticipation of someone giving birth. It definitely can get overwhelming.
Take a deep breath. No need to run so fast.
But as this anticipation bubbles up and boils over, we've got to take a deep breath. No need to run so fast. This will all take time and we want to make sure we are always remembering to live into these moments together and truly cherish this adventure.
While some of our anticipation has subsided as we feel we may have chosen a path for how we will grow our family, making this choice has opened up a whole 'nother world of struggles.
These last few months, we've been given an incredible opportunity to explore what surrogacy might look like for our family. Someone we know well has volunteered to explore this along side us as a gestation carrier.
For us, surrogacy was never a thought in our heads with the astronomical costs involved. Traditional surrogacy can easily cost six figures and that's just not in the cards for us. While having a known carrier is certainly not cheap, it does bring this possibility much closer to a reality.
Our first appointment with a fertility clinic in MN is coming up. We have been doing a lot of research on our own, discussing with friends and family who have gone through the IVF or surrogacy, and praying that we are going down a viable path.
This first meeting feels like the first real physical step. We are going to talk to someone who may help us start the ball rolling on everything.
We are still months away from a firm, YES WE CAN DO THIS. We have months more of anticipation to know if this is really going to work. But for us, we need to try everything. We want to try even though it could fail.